No point crying over spilt milk

(when you can laugh over it)

Le Chat
If your pet could talk, what is the first thing s/he would say to you?

"This red chair is really nice to sleep on. I just don't get why you have to sit on it every time I'm there."

"Why can't you play with me more? I miss the old man with the yellow hair (my grandpa), he was fun."

"Scratch my tummy, please."

"Out of the way! I'm after The Bug!!!!!!!!!!"

"Don't be sad, I love you."

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Happiness is..

..a warm gun (kidding)
Happiness is talking to someone interesting, even if it's about peanut butter. Talking to a friend.
Happiness is writing a very articulate and creative paper for school, and waiting for the grade, knowing you have done good in your own terms.
Happiness is weather. Just any weather will do as long as you feel good.
Happiness is creativity; Happiness is singing your favorite songs without being embarrassed.
Happiness is open spaces and wildlife.
Happiness is seeing yourself in the mirror, because it's like meeting your closest friend. Don't hate your reflection. Remember, it's the best you could do in a given moment.
Happiness is having time to yourself.
Happiness is wacky dreams; Happiness is waking up because you laugh in your dream, a laughter that turns out to be real (it happens!).
Happiness is intimacy.
Happiness is togetherness.
Happiness is freedom.
Happiness is when you bad mood goes suddenly away.
Happiness is realizing your dreams and ambitions.
Happiness is realizing that you have all you need.
Happiness is the ability and motivation to help others, even if it just means washing the dishes after supper.
Happiness is nothing, if you can't share it.

A long long update-the past two weeks
Haven't posted for two weeks now. Meanwhile much has happened. I have earned two good grades, both are final, because I didn't want to risk the lower one; 94 in Cinematic Expression and 71 in English Editing. I expect a passable grade on History, but if it's border-line I won't redo it. Last year's taught me this lesson. Sciences will have to be redone though. It was such a hellish experience. I sat in the class, head aching, not able to concentrate and feeling the whole of my body shaking. A psychology graduate has once explained to me that there are almost no real cases of catatonia found among modern populace, but nevertheless it felt near that. I couldn't remember how to use the formulas and though felt pretty confidant when practicing with the tutor, didn't know if what I was writing made sense or not. Such is the fate of a dyslexic who chooses to study a math-oriented course. It will serve as yet another lesson.

The date for changes in courses schedule is approaching and we (me and Maya, the mentor) did some revision of my study program. At first I opposed to the changes she suggested but now I understand she was right. After all, I constantly complain about having to spend another year and a half in completing my BA. I want to join the labor market, to get experienced, to move out of the house...I won't be twenty-five forever! So today I got in touch with Moran, our department coordinator, and she told me I have to file a request for the education committee to confirm my level 1 courses to be considered as advanced level. I also have to write that I want the art courses to be considered part of the general courses cluster, and she said that once I get to her office, she'll xerox for me the requirements from the appropriate yearbook. Next semester I might take a video filming workshop. For that I need to check if our digital camera has an option to control the aperture and shutter. Thrilled, because the final project is filming a video clip.

I went to visit cousin a couple of weeks ago, with Achbartul. The atmosphere was lukewarm, though I did all I could to make both of them to feel comfortable with each other. I guess I can't take it all on me. Had fun with cousin, though. We should meet more. Invited him to join us in our trips.

We will ramble more. Me and Achbartul went for a walk around Old Aqqo about two weeks ago. Managed to take some great pics, maybe will upload them. Never get tired of Aqqo, it's one of the most beautiful cities in Israel. We wanted to visit Caesaria this weekend, but he has a job interview on today, so he had to prepare. We talk a lot about where we want to go when we'll have time and money. Achbartul has never mounted the Mezadah Fortress, so I promised him we'll go there. I want to walk Zikhron-Yaakov and do the Safari in Ramat-Gan, in general I'm interested in everything that's connected with wildlife. Museums might be fun too, but they are pretty tiresome, after a while. Achbartul is more into hiking, he likes sports.

On a health roll now. Constantly remind myself not to eat too much sweets (today I relapsed, chocolate roll). Switched from cereals to crackers with white-low-fat cheese. Don't have time to work out, though. Hope Spring and Summer will be less intense than last year's, so I will manage to get in shape, while keeping up with school.
Set an appointment for the ear nose & throat specialist tomorrow noon, because my left ear feels stuffy for something like a month and half now (!). I really hate it. My mom tried to clear it with peroxide solution, but without any results.

Will go tomorrow with mom to the national security office and "bang on their table". Those bastards sent me a letter saying I owe them 4,000 NIS for all the time I didn't pay. We call them every year to ask if we should pay something for me being an unemployed student, and they say because I'm suing the army I don't have to pay at all. Hate bureaucracy. Hate it. Have to go, though, because getting their certificates is the only actual way for me to get into reasonable-cost therapy. Plus, my welfare coordinator at the university has already spoke about me with the Dean of Students. If I won't go she'll look bad, and it will affect the other students in the program.

Went out yesterday with Paula. She saw a week and half ago an a swing concert ad, and thought the singer (Vanessa Rubin) was an actress she saw in some movie. She wasn't but we went anyway. To our surprise we met Gaya who studies with us in the same department in Uni. The concert was great, and Vanessa even did a Peggy Lee song (I Got the World on a String). She talked to the audience, and that kind of stuff always makes me happy. I like hearing English without traces of Israeli accent, and her music really helped me relax. In the course of the concert I even wrote down lyrics which I liked, so I can find the songs on Youtube later (luckily I took my tiny notebook with me, but I had to scribble in the dark). One of them which she wrote herself was really good. To tell the truth, I was a bit worried that I'll be stuck in the middle of Haifa Bay at night, cause the Haifa buses can be really problematic sometimes. We indeed missed the bus we wanted to take, but luckily another bus who went to the same central station came a few minutes later. It was a close one. Paula's hunch was good, she made me leave a few minutes before the concert has ended. I now the proud owner of three Music CDs (it was a three for 100 NIS sale): Peggy Lee, Nina Simone and Connie Francis, all of them collections. I bought them with mixed feelings, knowing that I owe some money to the bank. I REALLY HAVE TO FIND A JOB.

On Thursday and Friday nights I was with Achbartul. Thursday night I was too exhausted to keep good company, and Friday we went out with his friends. A couple of them had given birth to their first child about a month ago, and they invited us to his Brit Milah (circumcision celebration) I need to buy something nice to wear, and Paula wants to go to Honigman outlet with me, to help me choose. She confessed to me yesterday that she's an undiagnosed shopaholic, and that Alex is giving her grief about it. I guess I'm something of a shopaholic as well, though I try to save money....without success... What will become of my Sam Spiegel tuition???

All in all I feel pretty upbeat, though have to study for like three exams in a row now, plus I have the seminar paper distressing me.
I hadn't had time to answer WB's letter like I promised and I'm bummed about that, because I was putting it off for about three weeks now. Have to post a poll for the community, because I was supposed to do it yesterday. Barala's on kinda low profile, wonder if she's okay.

Well, I sure blabber a lot. Next time will be sooner, I hope. Thanks for stopping by!

The philosophy behind my definition of music.
(This is just something I wrote a long while ago, for a dating site)
I have a broad musical taste. Often love a good pop song, and occasionally ones that are not too good. That's kind of general, so my criteria for quality is not sophistication or innovation, but catchy-ness, and the energies which the song (or the piece) bring with them, the way they make you feel. I generally try to stay away from chewed gum songs-these are the kind I used to like once, or that you think I would like, but had just got worn out by playing them too much. That means I constantly look for something new to listen to. In these voyages I don't get too far away from my home port. I'm far from being "fringe", to put it that way. Other type of music which I hate is Parve music. Parve is a term in Judaism which relates to food which is neither milk nor meat. In colloquial speech, Parve usually means something which is boring or has no spunk (or any kind of other character to it). So, forgive me, Madonna, Sting, Keren Peles, Mashina and company-I'm sure you're trying…of course there are songs which are exceptions.

What I like:
Female Singers: Lulu, Connie Francis, Dusty Springfield, Brenda Lee, Natalie Imbruglia, Natasha Bedingfield, Melissa Etheridge, Jennifer Paige, Shania Twain, The Spice Girls, Peggy Lee, מירי מסיקה, אתי אנקרי, עלמה זוהר, רונית שחר, מיקה קרני, יהודית רביץ.

Israeli Rock: גזוז, דודה, כוורת, החברים של נטשה, שלום חנוך, דני רובס, , שרון מולדאבי, דפנה והעוגיות.

Classic Rock: Queen, The Beatles, The Who, The Beach Boys, Joe Dassin, America, Simon & Garfunkel, Rainbow.

Rock: RHCP, The Pretenders, INXS, Mazzy Star, Travis, The Verve.

Middle East/World Music: bachatas (Cuban dance music), Van Morrison, The Corrs, (Tea Packs) דין דין אביב, טיפקס.

Hair Metal: Van Halen, Guns 'N Roses, Def Leppard.

Pop: Roxette, Abba, The Pipettes.

Punk/Ska: Blondie, Madness, Green Day.

Russian Rock: Lube, Mashina Vremeni, Beliy Orel,  Garick Stukachov.

Rock 'N Roll: Elvis, The Shadows.

Electronic: Air, Garbage.

Russian Pop: Raymond Pauls (composer).

Nothing like the voice of Peggy Lee :)
Last days were kinda hazy. I came across this remarkable woman through the LJ, and we became close. We write emails to each other. She holds great talent for writing, and I have high hopes for her.

Other than that, I managed to study a little, so maybe the exams won't be such a big fiasco, after all.

Flu is done with, all I have now is a bit of dripping from nose and some coughing, but I guess it's the sort of thing that will remain until the winter is over.

Am looking for a Fried Green Tomatoes recipe, promised grandpa I will make him some before he will go back to Russia. Sis wants all the family to go see the new Russian movie. I still have to find what it's all about , but don't generally say no to foreign films. Plus, Russian is not that foreign :)

I promised cousin to visit him in his new apartment, still have to find time to do that, maybe with Achbartul. Should be fun.

Papa is feeling better. He called me yesterday and said that if everything will keep up that way we could meet in the weekend. Have to spare time for that too. Miss him occasionally.

Well, that's all for now. Good night!

I am sick for the fourth day now and I really hate it.
I have the flu, it turns out. Yesterday I was at the doctor's (I almost wrote 'vet', LOL), which was a procedure within itself, because I tried to get his secretary the entire morning, and only around 15:30 I realised it was Wednesday and the Dr. is on a day off (or so the answering machine said). I found another physician's phone number in the phone book, and his wife told me that if I want a sickness confirmation form I can come without making an appoitment, but I need to it fast, because the reception will begin at 16:30.
I got ready very quickly (I'm still looking for my winter hat and gloves, though), and came 5 mins. before the reception begun. It's really lucky for me that he lives only two streets away. The Dr. was really nice, but he said it's a virus and he doesn't want to perscribe antibiotics (which I didn't want to take in the first place). He also said that the whole thing will be probably over by Sunday. If not, I should come back.
Thanks doc, four more days of sneezing, coughing, headaches, sore throat and a runny nose-that's what semster vacation is meant for! *fake plastic smile* I just can't get enough of these cute little diagnoses, how on earth did you guess???
Exam season is on now, and it's really hard to make myself study-I keep sitting in front of the PC, never bothering to get up and do something useful. Internet is fun. Guilt because of other people is also good, though. I don't want to imagine what my life would have looked like if I were apathetic.
Seminar paper is coming on slowly but surely. Handed in some mid-semester assignment for one of my instructors. It was a film theory course, and we were suppose to analyze a film sequence. Wonder how much will I get, considering the fact that writing it was pretty fun. Then again, I almost always enjoy writing papers, maybe because I like creative stuff, and everything that involves phrasing is creative for me.
I already missed one exam (physics and chemistry) because of this stupid flu, and if I don't play safe, I will screw up the next one (English editing).
On the positive side:
1. I got reconnected with Yulia and some more childhood friends.
2. My appetite is not as big (sick).
3. I discovered a DVD with all Charlie Chaplin movies at our house.
4. Vacation is still vacation.
5. Next semester-many interesting courses and maybe even Creative Writing!!
5. I met Aichee and her guy a week ago in their cosy apartment a week ago, and didn't forget her present this time.
6. It's been raining heavily in the past few days. Good for Israel! Not so good ecologically.
7. Made some guy friends in this semester's classes.
8. Spring and Summer are approaching, respectively.
9. Feeling very energetic lately, especially now that I realized that soon I'll be over with this miserable BA, and will be on my way to film school. Can't wait.
10. Me and baby have grown very close lately. He's wonderful :)
11. I started to catch up on some reading I was meaning to do. You won't belive how much books are piling up at my house.

Well, I guess that's it for today! Don't be a stranger, whoever you are!

Sad Movie
Have you ever felt, after watching a movie, that you don't want to concentrate on something else for the rest of the day? That you wanted to "stay with these feelings" (God, I hate that expression)? I've watched Peter Mullan's "The Magdalene Sisters" today, and I didn't want it to end. I don't feel like telling the story to you, plus the movie does it way better than I'll ever be able to. I'm not sure why it touched me this way, because it pretty much follows the rules of a dramatic documentary genre (if there isn't such a genre, there should be). You have the girls, which are presented as weak in every possible way; you have the nuns and the priest which are being obnoxious to them, as expected, and the beautiful Irish countryside setting is painfully contrasted with both of the above. Reality can be so banal sometimes.
Yet those girls of the convent wouldn't be troubled by banality. There isn't time or emotional resources for that, when your roommate is trying to hang herself or is being forced systematically into oral sex with the preacher.
I don't want to think clearly about this movie, because every educated word I type here changes its being when I see it again on the monitor. I got out of the media section in library, and wanted to be by myself. I wanted to cry.
Why do we feel the need to make other people suffer? Why did this girl had to die of anorexia? How can we see individuals in pain and remain frozen?
Why is there so much stupidity in this world? What is this feeling that won't let me be the same after learning of the Magdalene nunneries? Do I need this, after they were wiped out? Will it make me better? Is there any hope for me, or did I cry only because I resemble the characters on the screen?

Опять пишу...
На что же этот ЖЖ, если не на это..?!

Ван Моррисон в ушах. Ностальгия. Наверно, только выросшие в 1990-х, поймут что имею в виду когда говорю что "давать советы-это форма ностальгии" (а если вы не поняли, срочно посылаю вас сюда: Так чего же вам посоветовать..?

Сегодня, обойдётесь без советов. Горячая тема-опровержение...Хорошо! Еще один термин выучила. Теперь надо понять как им пользоватся...
Короче, жизнь моя вечная спячка...Все время крутьятся мысли в голове. Разные мысли. Мне от такого интенсивного мышление то жарко, то холодно. Потому что всё в перемешку; хорошое с плохим, странное с простым, весёлое с грустным, и тд. Это еще могло быть терпимо, но когда у меня в ушах музыка 40%-50% времени, я думаю и мысли синхронизирются с плейлистом. Плавно так, перехожу, от маленкого беспорядка к большому. Мало того все время что-то мелькает перед глазами и отвлекает. И все же др. люди как то приспособливаются. Даже очень хорошо соображают. А я торможу... :(
А надо все время куда-то бежать, что-то успевать сделать...а так не хочется...хочу спать...и мечтать...и музыку слушать. Может Д-р Яски была права, надо саму себя как-то стимулировать? Принимаю от вас идеи полезных стимулов!

До следущего поста,


Люблю музыку. Люблю петь. Уверена что пою довольно хорошо, но хотелось бы уметь по-настоящему. Несколько лет назад была смешная/грустная история связаная с этим:
...выходя из очередного бара, наткнулась на обявление..Мы там, мол, группа, ищем певца/певицу. Звоните по такому-то номеру. Я, хотя ничего и не выпила, была настроена по боевому (вечер пришлось проводить с двумя бывшеми партнёрами, ситуация которая, как правило, заставляет меня выделоватся даже больше, чем обычно). В добавок к этому, приблежалось начало первого (долгожданого) учебного года в универе. Всё казалось обещающим. Я еще хотела стать кореспондентом в студенческой газете (кто об этой газете сейчас помнит).
...короче, подошла я к обявлению, прочитала, поколебалась несколько секунд и...сорвала с доски. В месте с липкой лентой; обычный способ уменшить количество претендентов. Показывая обявление девочкам с которыми возвращалась домой, сказала что буду петь в рок-группе (на Иврите такое называется "считать не вылупившихся птенцов"). девочки наивно признались что не знали, что я пою, на что я ответила что пою в качестве хобби (...).
На следущий день я обьявила дома что буду некоторое время посвящать пению. Мама и сестра уверяли меня что петь не умею и в каждой возможности вру мелодию. И вобще, не гожусь я в эти "шоу-бизнес"...! Мама испугалась что со мной опять что-то не то, но я не хотела отступать. Вечером я позвонила этим мальчишкам и согласилась купить в месте с ними микрофон и амплифайер, если понадобится. Сказали они что играют метал в стиле "Ганз энд Роузес", и я подумала что мне придется научится орать, но в слух сказала только что мне нравится такая музыка. Дала им свой телефон.
В ту ночь, не сумев уснуть, я пыталась написать свою первою песню. Кончилось тем, что сочинила что-то про поп-девку, которая хочет в вас кидатся поп-корном (ужас. Бред какой-то).
Написала, устала, легла спать.
На следущей недели (обявление я увидела в пятницу) мама как-то упомнила этот случай, сказав что она не против того чтоб я писала песни, лиш бы спала как следует и не волновала её. Оказывается, она утром увидела на моей кроватье листик с "песенкой".
..больше песен я не писала. С мальчиками этими снова не разговаривала. В конце концов отступила-таки. Сестра с тех пор мне этот случай напоминает, каждый раз когда хочу чего-то грандиозного (сладкая такая особа).
А петь продолжаю. Нас так быстро не угомониш! Подпеваю записям или когда езжу с знакомыми в машине.
Мне часто снится что пишу тексты и музыку песням. Когда просыпаюсь не фига не помню. Но об этом в другой раз.


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